I seem to live in a world that tells me that to feel and behave “like a woman” is belittling, demeaning, disparaging, and degrading my credibility. And myself together with it. How often is it that as women, we hear the words “how typically feminine!” being said about us or to us in a disappointed tone when we argue our points of view? That being said, from then on, we have no more credibility, thus nothing more we say will be heard or listened to. That is also the moment when we become guilty of committing a disgraceful act: “I believed you were my equal but I realize you’re still just a woman”.
And obviously in many years of feminist workout we still couldn’t claim that back. We still are reversed sexists if we say “how typically masculine is of you to pretend you’re right when even you know you’re not”.
Pretending that you know something that you don’t seems to be a value in itself in this society. It’s the road to a successful career for example. Reason why I see it very often in the work relationships I have with others. If we talk about an issue that I don’t know exactly or at all about, if they name a word that I never heard before, I pretend that I know what we are talking about while quietly making a little note in my head or on a piece of paper so that I can “google” it later. Why do I do that? It’s because otherwise I risk to lose my credibility, the respect I gained from others as professional and to change the way the others see and respectively, relate to me.
So I keep appearances in a certain way so that I will keep other’s opinions on me high above my own opinions on my own self. It’s obviously more important who they think I am then who I think I am. And is not something particular I identify in my case only. I learned it from many others. I learned it mainly from a society in which is “typically masculine” to know everything and “typically feminine” not to know.
Probably this is only one example of many talking about how “typically masculine” is then the world in the way is constructed and in the values it holds. So when the system is “typically masculine”, “typically feminine” is another anomaly that has to be corrected and I, as a woman, have to work very hard at growing a penis from day one in order to be respected, listened to or treated equally.
Do YOU want to grow a penis?