about not walking on eggshells

“Walking on eggshells”: an excellent, profoundly thought-provoking essay @ The F-Word

Where’s the liberation in walking on eggshells? Where’s the empowerment in feeling equal only to adolescent boys and women?

So what happens if I not only leave the realm of object, if I focus on men but I’m not deferential, submissive or flirtatious either? I have stopped walking on eggshells as much as I can bear to. I follow my fear into situations of potential male violence and disapproval: situations where passivity, acquiescence and submission feel safer or more appealing than taking control. I take note. […]

To be treated as an equal I need to say what I want, express all the things I feel about men, even if some are critical, do what I want, and above all stop walking on eggshells and start tackling men. All that and accept – welcome – his disapproval and anger because it means I’m finding something out about him. I’m finding out if he wants a human or an object. And when I don’t get control, disapproval and anger I know I’ve found equality.

by Alex Brew, author “Asking for It” project, cofounder FemAdLib Kolektiv

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